Post by ellsworth on Dec 25, 2008 14:56:44 GMT -5
Loving the Yankees Means Always Having to Say You’re Sorry
By Jane Heller
Jane Heller is the author of the coming memoir, “Confessions of a She-Fan: The Course of True Love with the New York Yankees.” (Rodale)
“Unseemly.” “Insensitive.” “Galling.” “Grotesque.”
These are among the kinder adjectives being attributed to the Yankees after they spent nearly half a billion dollars to acquire three players. How dare they engage in conspicuous consumption when the rest of the country is suffering! What nerve flaunting their wealth during the worst economic catastrophe since the Great Depression! What a slap in the face to the small-market, payroll-slashing Have-nots in baseball, proving once and for all that the Yankees are a detriment to the sport and to humankind!
Over the top? Not on the blogosphere, where it’s a great time to be a Yankees hater. Even Yankees fans are behaving like Yankees haters. If I get one more e-mail telling me I should “wise up and dump the losers,” I’ll –-
Well, I just wish everybody would stop. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own choices. And I’m sick of having to apologize for loving a team with assets, as if that makes me some sort of “trophy fan” who’s in it strictly for the money. The fact that the Yankees do have money and aren’t afraid to lavish it on the people they care about isn’t so wrong, is it? It’s not as if they’ve roped us all into some giant Ponzi scheme and bled our retirement plans dry.
Actually, I pay no attention to the lifelong, die-hard, truly intransigent Yankees haters. They hate us just for breathing.
But to all the self-loathing Yankees fans that fear their team is buzz-killing the holidays for the denizens of San Diego, Minneapolis and Kansas City? It’s not your fault that the Padres’ owner needs to sell his team; not your fault that the Twins trade away their best players; not your fault that the Royals thought signing Kyle Farnsworth was a smart idea. Sure, you’re tempted to walk the earth in sackcloth apologizing to everyone everywhere, but you’re not responsible for society’s ills. Just get used to the idea that being a Yankees fan means always saying you’re sorry.
Besides, look at all the perks that go along with being a Yankees fan.
You’re getting a spectacular new house in April with every possible amenity. It combines the latest in interior design (wide-screen television, state-of-the-art sound system, gourmet kitchens, multiple baths) with outdoorsy charm (distinctive facade, park-like acreage, well-tended lawn, professional groundskeepers).
You get Brian Cashman, the modern-day equivalent of John Beresford Tipton, the guy on the old weekly TV series “The Millionaire” who dispensed million-dollar checks to unsuspecting, deserving individuals. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing how his latest recipients will handle their wealth -– Will they use it for good works or fritter it away? -– just as I used to anticipate the fates of the TV show’s new millionaires.
Speaking of “new,” some fans are stuck with the same old dreary personalities year after year. Not Yankees fans. Our team always seeks out the most intriguing players, whether young or old, rookie or veteran, robust or chronically injured. As a result, Yankees fans are never bored. Sometimes Cashman keeps us entertained by pulling fast ones on us. Like the year he said Enrique Wilson was our third baseman, only to spring Alex Rodriguez on us. Or the time he swore that Bubba Crosby was our center fielder, only to fill the position with Johnny Damon. He told us Nick Swisher would be our first baseman this year, and now Mark Texeira will be guarding the bag on Opening Day.
Fans of other teams accuse our team of overpaying for players, as well as awarding them large signing bonuses. Excuse me, but isn’t that the very definition of a good employer – an organization that’s generous with both salary and benefits?
As a Yankees fan, you get to root for a team that represents the largest city in the country. Frank Sinatra sings your theme song. You have your own cable TV network. You’re an international brand; people in foreign countries parade around in your interlocking N.Y. You are not the Kankakee Yankees and never will be, and there’s no reason to apologize for that, either.
Another thing to remember is that the Steinbrenner family has a diversified portfolio that includes the breeding and racing of thoroughbred horses as well as the ownership and management of eight Florida hotels. You picked wisely when you hitched your wagon to them. They are not asking Congress for a bailout.
And the next time a Yankees hater gives you the old “You people think you can just go out and buy a championship?” Don’t apologize. We’re fully aware that money doesn’t guarantee a World Series ring any more than it guarantees happiness. We’re not as clueless as our detractors think.
So please, Yankees fans. No more hand wringing. There will be plenty of opportunities for that once the season starts.
By Jane Heller
Jane Heller is the author of the coming memoir, “Confessions of a She-Fan: The Course of True Love with the New York Yankees.” (Rodale)
“Unseemly.” “Insensitive.” “Galling.” “Grotesque.”
These are among the kinder adjectives being attributed to the Yankees after they spent nearly half a billion dollars to acquire three players. How dare they engage in conspicuous consumption when the rest of the country is suffering! What nerve flaunting their wealth during the worst economic catastrophe since the Great Depression! What a slap in the face to the small-market, payroll-slashing Have-nots in baseball, proving once and for all that the Yankees are a detriment to the sport and to humankind!
Over the top? Not on the blogosphere, where it’s a great time to be a Yankees hater. Even Yankees fans are behaving like Yankees haters. If I get one more e-mail telling me I should “wise up and dump the losers,” I’ll –-
Well, I just wish everybody would stop. I’m a grown woman. I can make my own choices. And I’m sick of having to apologize for loving a team with assets, as if that makes me some sort of “trophy fan” who’s in it strictly for the money. The fact that the Yankees do have money and aren’t afraid to lavish it on the people they care about isn’t so wrong, is it? It’s not as if they’ve roped us all into some giant Ponzi scheme and bled our retirement plans dry.
Actually, I pay no attention to the lifelong, die-hard, truly intransigent Yankees haters. They hate us just for breathing.
But to all the self-loathing Yankees fans that fear their team is buzz-killing the holidays for the denizens of San Diego, Minneapolis and Kansas City? It’s not your fault that the Padres’ owner needs to sell his team; not your fault that the Twins trade away their best players; not your fault that the Royals thought signing Kyle Farnsworth was a smart idea. Sure, you’re tempted to walk the earth in sackcloth apologizing to everyone everywhere, but you’re not responsible for society’s ills. Just get used to the idea that being a Yankees fan means always saying you’re sorry.
Besides, look at all the perks that go along with being a Yankees fan.
You’re getting a spectacular new house in April with every possible amenity. It combines the latest in interior design (wide-screen television, state-of-the-art sound system, gourmet kitchens, multiple baths) with outdoorsy charm (distinctive facade, park-like acreage, well-tended lawn, professional groundskeepers).
You get Brian Cashman, the modern-day equivalent of John Beresford Tipton, the guy on the old weekly TV series “The Millionaire” who dispensed million-dollar checks to unsuspecting, deserving individuals. Personally, I’m looking forward to seeing how his latest recipients will handle their wealth -– Will they use it for good works or fritter it away? -– just as I used to anticipate the fates of the TV show’s new millionaires.
Speaking of “new,” some fans are stuck with the same old dreary personalities year after year. Not Yankees fans. Our team always seeks out the most intriguing players, whether young or old, rookie or veteran, robust or chronically injured. As a result, Yankees fans are never bored. Sometimes Cashman keeps us entertained by pulling fast ones on us. Like the year he said Enrique Wilson was our third baseman, only to spring Alex Rodriguez on us. Or the time he swore that Bubba Crosby was our center fielder, only to fill the position with Johnny Damon. He told us Nick Swisher would be our first baseman this year, and now Mark Texeira will be guarding the bag on Opening Day.
Fans of other teams accuse our team of overpaying for players, as well as awarding them large signing bonuses. Excuse me, but isn’t that the very definition of a good employer – an organization that’s generous with both salary and benefits?
As a Yankees fan, you get to root for a team that represents the largest city in the country. Frank Sinatra sings your theme song. You have your own cable TV network. You’re an international brand; people in foreign countries parade around in your interlocking N.Y. You are not the Kankakee Yankees and never will be, and there’s no reason to apologize for that, either.
Another thing to remember is that the Steinbrenner family has a diversified portfolio that includes the breeding and racing of thoroughbred horses as well as the ownership and management of eight Florida hotels. You picked wisely when you hitched your wagon to them. They are not asking Congress for a bailout.
And the next time a Yankees hater gives you the old “You people think you can just go out and buy a championship?” Don’t apologize. We’re fully aware that money doesn’t guarantee a World Series ring any more than it guarantees happiness. We’re not as clueless as our detractors think.
So please, Yankees fans. No more hand wringing. There will be plenty of opportunities for that once the season starts.