The Goodbye to Laura Thread

[MSBNYY]

As a result of her dismal performance, Laura has been Walkman Johned. For those new to the world of Section 39 Fantasy Baseball, beginning in the 2005 season, it was decided that whoever finished in last place would be exiled for one year.

This relegation is named in memory of Walkman John, who was the first to receive this humiliation.

Laura joins John and Grover in this Section 39 Hall of Shame.

So now, the end is near for Laura, who is of course welcome to comment in this thread at any time.

But this thread is for everyone to discuss how they feel about Laura's performance.

Where did she go wrong in the draft? Could it have been taking Joe Nathan and Chone Figgins back to back with her 2nd and 3rd round picks while passing on the likes of Jimmy Rollins or Mark Texeira or K-Rod?

Discuss.

[$heriff Tom]

An aboslute disgusting performance. I mean, no one was even close to her. She was on her own island of stink.

I remember when she made that Figgins pick milk shot out of my nose, and I was not even drinking milk. That may have been the pick that sparked the most befuddlement since, well, she picked Lidge where she did the year before.

I am glad she is taking the year off, maybe we can have a bit more competition down there near the bottom of the standings. When the relegation rule was made, we were not expecting someone to be the caboose on this train all year long. I figured it would cause a frantic fight to stay out of the basement.

Laura, you did just as bad as Suzy did good. I honestly dont know which took more an effort. This was the worst fantasy performance I remember since word came down that Ignorant Evan was in a league where a guy died halfway through, and still ended up finishing ahead of Evan.

If you want to come back a year from next spring, you will need to show some moxie and signs that you are preparing yourself. We can not afford another debaucle such as this one. In fact, I am currently drafting a new rule where if someone returns to the league and finishes last again, they are banned FOREVER. That may end up being called "the Laura rule."

[MSBNYY]

In Evan's defense, the guy died in August. Of course, that same year, in another league, Evan finished in second place--just behind a 13 year old girl. By now you all know this story, yet it really never stops being funny.

As for Tom's idea, it's interesting. A repeat loser getting permanently banned? The question is does that person have to finish last the year s/he comes back? Say Laura comes back in 2009, finishes in 11th, then in 2010 finishes last and gets relegated? Is she Shoeless Joe, or just back in the fold with a 1 year ban?

[$heriff Tom]

No, this league is in it for the long haul. Its history of the league. If you are any sort of fantasy player at all, you can play for decades and finish last never more than once. I sure as heck never finished last in any league I ever played in. We usually have more interested people than openings. So if you finish last twice - in any span of years - find a new league.

[MSBNYY]

Wow. What happens if YOU finish last twice?

[$heriff Tom]

I hand over the reigns to someone else.

It wont happen. You have to really suck at fantasy baseball to finish last even once, with the sketchy group we have put together thus far. In time we may be even more competitive, but I dont see myself finishing last once, yet alone twice.

If I do, I would not want to play fantasy baseball anymore. Nor would I deserve to.

[MSBNYY]

So basically, if you finish in last twice, daily roster moves will finally be allowed.

[$heriff Tom]

Probably not, cause I will end up passing the league on to someone who shares my views in how it should be run.

In fact, if I finish last twice, I just may fire you, and become commissioner myself. I just won't be playing.

[MSBNYY]

And I will thank you kindly in my fantasy HOF speech.