MSBNYY
Administrator
El Guapo
Posts: 15,545
|
Post by MSBNYY on Jan 30, 2008 9:23:24 GMT -5
Way to be a dirty player. But that's still an awesome story.
|
|
|
Post by cactusjames on Jan 30, 2008 12:48:00 GMT -5
We used to get pick up games going at East Northport High School on the tennis courts, two full nets, blades the works. We were playing for about 40 minutes tie game when a scrum occurs in the corner behind the net. It gets knocked out to me standing near the blue line, where I get quick pass up middle of the ice to my center(I was playing wing). So my friend Paul(who we call heater cause he never had a working heater)goes on the break just him the goalie and a d trailing behind.We weren't playing dirty but the defenseman tried to wrap up the stick with his own, a hook. So heater to shake him off quickly jerks his stick up to knock the hook loose. The defenders stick comes al the way up and the blade catches heater in the eye, well, the eye lid to be axact. Big flap of skin just hanging off his fucking eyelid, it was sick looking. Puck never went in and the game ended there. From then on, some guys would either wear sun glasses or an actual visor. Scary shit getting hit in the face.
Another good one was the intermurals in high school for me. I was nasty cause most guys couldn't play. So people are slapping the puck all around when it gets caught by the bleachers. This kid who I had a feud with even in other sports goes in after me to get the puck, cross checked me from behind right into the wall. I was fucking pissed, moreso cause there was no call, real illeagal shit would cause a penalty but for the most part shit would slide. But dirty moves would cost you. So after I got hit, I go right after him and just level him with clean hip check and sent him right into the thrid row of the bleachers. All his gay little friends(I was a senior, he and his friends werea junior) came right after me slashing cross checking etc. I threw down the stick and was getting ready to brawl when finally the gym coach made a call gave the asshole a 2 minute minor. I scored a game winning power play goal.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Feb 6, 2008 8:42:37 GMT -5
Mentioning one of my old jobs brings me back to a jolly tale from back in the day. So I show up to work one day stinking of booze, probably still drunk. It was a blackberry brandy carry-over. To this day I dont know why I was even at work.
So I am in pain, riding the elevator down to lunch, and the main money man steps in. I mean, the big boss. We were always somewhat friendly, but rightfully I was always very careful around him. And now I stunk of the hard booze. He turns to me and says, "Tom, do me a favor...when you come back from lunch, come see me in my office." Ah, crap. I nod an affirmative, and my lunch is now ruined. I figure I am not getting fired in that office - I think HR needs to do that - but I fear I am in serious trouble.
Well, lunch ends - the longest hour of my life - and I go up into this guys gigantic office, where he is behind a desk scribbling away on a pad. He makes me wait. Great.
He finally gets up, walks by me, and shoves the door closed a little. I think I am in for it. In actuality, he was exposing a marker board behind the door.
And then, in an official sounding voice, he says something like, "Tom, since 1950 only 5 first basemen have hit 40 home runs on the road....blah blah" - one of these types of questions, I dont remember exactly.
I was like, "um.."
Whatever the question was, I came up with 3 of the 5. He sort of frowns after I wave flag, and goes, "we've been trying to figure out the last one, the 4th one is blah blah" - and he writes it down.
He then turns, shakes my hand, and is like, "thanks Tom! If you can think of the other guy, come let me know."
And that was that. The guy just wanted to talk baseball to the drunk guy.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Mar 25, 2008 9:27:53 GMT -5
You guys want to laugh? While I was out in Phoenix I met up with my cousin Laura for a couple of drinks in the hotel bar. She was tellling me about some of the areas nearby that were populated mainly by Navajo's. Talk about a stereotype....I had made a quip about Indians and drinking, and she regaled me with this.
There is a town out there where the Navajos stumble around all day, drunk off the gourd. You actually need to drive through at like 10 MPH, cause they will lurch out of nowhere off of the sidewalk right in front of your car. She said at times she drives down the main drag like someone doing a traffic cone driving test, swerving around Indians passed out here and there all over the road.
I need to get the name of the town from her, if you Google Earth it you may see some drunken Indians dotting the roads.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 15, 2008 9:29:22 GMT -5
Saw a bit of a rhubarb on the stairs at Penn this morning, so it calls for this little ditty from my past. My last "altercation" on subway steps.
Heading up the stairs at the Broadway / Lafayette station to traipse to work one morning, and some idiot is running down the steps on the wrong side a bit up. Instead of bearing to the right, he is running left, where upward traffic is always enconsed. I am not moving for this fool.
So on the way down he sorta has to swing towards the middle of the steps, but we make contact. I throw a bit of a shoulder block, as stairway etiquette is important to me.
I feel a shove from behind, and he is angry and yapping. I have my headphones on, so I cant hear him, but I offer him an "F U, you - - - - head" sorta greeting anyway. He then starts swinging wildly from a few steps down, like a girl. He connected with my legs a couple of times. So I haul off and start kicking at him. I got him a couple of times, too. I am a few steps above him, so I am certainly at a martial arts sort of advantage.
So now we are sort of standing off, and then you can hear the train rumbling in from downstairs. He curses me, I curse him back, and we head our seperate ways so that he can catch his train.
Fun stuff.
|
|
|
Post by 9 on Apr 15, 2008 9:54:47 GMT -5
He punched you in the leg, from a few steps down? What a tool.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Apr 15, 2008 10:11:13 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by crazilyz on Apr 15, 2008 10:42:56 GMT -5
Saw a bit of a rhubarb on the stairs at Penn this morning. In Penn Station, there's a guy that plays the recorder and his repetoire includes various TV theme songs including the Odd Couple, Andy Griffin, I Dream of Jeannie, etc. One day, in the mid to late 90's during the morning rush, recorder dude is playing his songs and providing background music to two suits that decided to duke it out on the concourse by Track 21 (vicinity of Hot & Crusty). This scene would've been better is he started playing the theme song to Batman.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 15, 2008 11:08:55 GMT -5
One of the coolest things I have ever seen in Penn Station were a pack of drunks doing a mosh pit during a street-musician trio's version of "Seasons in the Sun" or one of those folkey songs.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Apr 15, 2008 11:27:50 GMT -5
Maybe it was the Me First And The Gimme Gimme's version of that song.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 16, 2008 12:47:46 GMT -5
One of my coworkers was just telling a few of us that his 70 year old Grandmother was booted off of a Gardening website / message board for "fighting." Sometimes talk gravitates, and they were arguing politics and she got the boot. But the person who she was fighting with also fought with her in the past over seeds, planting, and things like that in the past. They had a "running feud" apparently.
|
|
|
Post by 9 on Apr 16, 2008 13:30:16 GMT -5
Fighting? On a message board? Heavens to Betsy!
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 16, 2008 13:52:41 GMT -5
At 70 years old!
I hope I am still fighting on a message board when I am 70 years old.
|
|
MSBNYY
Administrator
El Guapo
Posts: 15,545
|
Post by MSBNYY on Apr 16, 2008 13:59:15 GMT -5
Given that it's only a few months away, I'm sure you will be!!!
|
|
|
Post by 9 on Apr 16, 2008 14:54:39 GMT -5
Tom, you had to know THAT was coming!
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 16, 2008 15:27:11 GMT -5
I'm not old. Simply wise.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Apr 16, 2008 16:54:49 GMT -5
Or you could be befriending transients, taking out life insurance policies on them, and offing them when you're 70! That seems worthwhile.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 23, 2008 8:29:10 GMT -5
So a few years back I befriended the lead singer of a cult band I used to really enjoy in the 80s. A Boston based doom outfit. Then the friendship turned odd, I had to "break it off" and even though we have "reconciled" its not the same. A little background. Around 2002 I was leafing through a copy of Metal Maniacs magazine, and there was a "Pen-Pal' section, where people would trade music, or meet buddies with similar tastes in bands. While perusing, I noticed a post from a "former lead singer" of said band, written in his normal quirky style you could recognize off the liner notes, talking about how he was bored, had nothing to do with his time, missed the scene, blah blah.
I took a flyer and sent him a letter. This was pre Myspace. Told him how much I liked his music, all that. A few weeks later the phone rings at home, we were staying with my parents then, and my Dad tells me what I think is a bleacher creature buddy is on the phone. This singer shared a name with Walkman John. I pick up and it takes me a few seconds to realize this John M is NOT bleacher creature John, but this lead singer, who called me looking through information after getting my "cool" letter.
Well, from there we became phone buds. We had a lot in common, both being the fathers of newborns. He was a funny guy, we would talk baseball. He was on disability, and a bored guy, who did a lot of reading and other things. It was a good time, I would call him whenever I had a minute, I remember in particular a call I made to him sitting in Yancey Park outside the Stadium waiting for the other drunks to show up for our pregame drinking.
Where the problems were was his drug habit. He never talked about it, but he would call me sometimes, out of his mind. Talking nonsense like you would not believe. I would hurry him off the phone, as he slurred about things like balloons that walk and how someone from junior high owed him $12.
The next day we would talk and in a roundabout way I would find out he did not recall that we talked the day before.
Around that time I sort of stopped calling him, and ignored a few of his calls. I always found it funny here I was not taking calls from a lead singer of a band that put out a handful of albums I owned in vinyl and cassette, and some other EPS.
To wrap, about a year ago, after 3 or more years without speaking, I realized he was now running the eponymous bands' MySpace page. When I talked with him, he did not even own a computer. I broke down and emailed him, and he emailed me back, and he was sort of curt. He must have felt spurned, in a guy-pal sort of way. I will probably email him again sometime soon, he was a fun guy!
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 28, 2008 9:27:55 GMT -5
So this one is a doozy. I had never seen this before, and if I was writing a comedy I could not have come up with something this funny to see. A MUSICAL-CHAIRS FIGHT!
My neice's Communion party, this weekend. Game of musical chairs, hosted by a chubby DJ. For one thing, I am tired of seeing all these 8-12 year old boys doing the Musical Chairs. For one thing, they whomp kids like my 5 year old daughter out of the way. For another, its mad gay for them to want to play this. Its not like when I was 8 I was "chasing skirts" but at the least I was trying to hide from Mom and Dad, conjuring up innocent trouble like beating up my younger brother or drinking "just one more Shirley Temple."
So anyway at some point these two bully kids, who appear to be brothers, end up on the same chair. One of them is clearly out, sitting on the others lap pretty much. So the DJ gives him the boot. And he argues, like Earl Weaver stepping up to Ron Luciano. That was bizarre in itself, and something else I have not seen. I have seen kids flee the scene in tears, or even kicking party hats in frustration, but never a full-fledged brouhaha over an ejection.
So the kid is whining about getting the boot, and the DJ is explaining himself, not like he needs to. So now his brother is standing up too. And me and a few others are sitting about 10 feet away, drinking beer, and yelling, "yeah!" like people do when they see people arguing.
Then the DJ pusses out and says, "ok, we'll have a do-over." Corny! But, thank God, just as he is making this dumb edict of his, the kid who was arguing lunges at his brother with a wild swing. And now the fight is kicking off! So we start yelling, "Yeah, fight! Fight!" People are whooping it up all over the room.
So then this women comes storming in out of nowhere, grabbing a kid with each arm, and she starts marching them off the floor. I could imagine the humiliation that must have been shooting through her, her two sons fighting during a fairy game like Musical Chairs. We mumble and even boo a little bit, while the DJ turns to us with a look of someone who just broke an egg on the floor during breakfast sort of look, and shrugs and goes, "I didnt expect THAT to happen. THAT was not my intention."
We were like, nah, its cool, we loved it.
Friggin' fight during Musical Chairs. I blame the gangsta rap he was playing earlier.
|
|
|
Post by 9 on Apr 28, 2008 9:55:53 GMT -5
Musical chairs = SERIOUS bidness.
|
|
|
Post by Chris on Apr 28, 2008 11:24:04 GMT -5
I always enjoy musical chairs on ice - halftime @ hockey games.
|
|
|
Post by crazilyz on May 6, 2008 12:35:25 GMT -5
I made a quick pitstop at the local bar while I was walking Zelda and got to talking with these guys about random shit. The topic of Jehovah's Witnesses came up and I told them about the time my brother answered the door with a 40 in his hand and a joint in his month...JW's made a beeline back down the walkway.
This guy topped me with his story. JW stopped by his crib and the guy told the "I'm not interested but if you stop by next Saurday, there will be somebody that'll be very interested in talking to you." So bigger than shit, the JW stopped by the house the following Saturday and his brother was home...cleaning his shotgun. There was a knock on the door and the guy told his brother "hey Bobby, there's somebody at the door for you." He goes to the door and the JWs are reading from their book and he chimed in as he's stroking his gun "you know man, I ain't interested in that shit...I worship the devil."
I was going to tell him about the time by buddt answered to door buck naked with the JWs came a knocking, but the shotgun story had me beat.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Jun 18, 2008 9:52:19 GMT -5
This is a funny one, ongoing as we speak. Last night I am finishing up Larry Bowa's first book, an account of his hectic first year managing the sketchy San Diego Padres. He owns up to all kinds of angst, and clubhouse imbroglios.
Well, he posts an account of a nasty fight with an out of town reporter from Detroit, who was doing a piece on Tony Gwynn. He complains that the guy asked him the "stupidest question he ever heard" and it goes from there. They howl at each other, and Bowa tries to get him kicked out of the clubhouse. The reporter snaps no, and punches nearly fly. Well, being the curious sort that I am, I googled the name of the reporter to see what he was up to these 20 years later. Well, lo and behold, he still writes for the paper out there, with a pretty robust resume to boot. So I email him, sorta laughing about the tale and prodding him for his take.
So this morning he sends me a pretty gracious email, basically calling Bowa a moron, and ruminating on his lack of people skills. Bowa was his WORST career experience, with "no one coming close at # 2."
Sorta fun swapping mail with this gent.
|
|
|
Post by 9 on Jun 18, 2008 10:26:11 GMT -5
Great story! I could see someone like Bowa being a reporter's worst nightmare, especially after a tough loss.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Jun 18, 2008 10:31:09 GMT -5
He owns up to a lot of that, with excuses of course. But no way someone can read this book without thinking "what a dick!"
|
|
|
Post by crazilyz on Jun 27, 2008 8:51:27 GMT -5
In my senior year of college and the first few months after I graduated, I worked for an ESL program at C. W. Post.
For a 2 week period around my 21st birthday, we had a group of high school foreign exchange students stay at Post before they went to their respective host families. During this period, the students took a bunch of "American life crash courses" to minimize any culture shock that might've taken place. They also went on a few field trips to the South Street Seaport, WTC, Statue of Liberty, and a Yankee Game (which fell on my 21st birthday).
About a day or so after my birthday, one of my co-workers came to me and said "Liz, you've never tried Night Train and we have to go get some" so we hopped in his car and took a trip to Greenvale Wines (Glen Cove Rd & 25A). We walked up & down the aisles and there wasn't any Night Train to be had. The cashier decides to ask if we need help and Grant asks without missing a beat "do you see Night Train Express?" She asked what it was and he went into a whole soliloquy on what Night Train was and closed it with "you know, Ripple." The cashier, as snooty as one could be considering we're in Greenvale replied "oh no, we don't sell stuff like that" and went into her own soliloquy about what types of products are sold at Greenvale Wines.
During this conversion between Grant and the snooty cashier, my back is turned and my face is beet red. After the cashier finished her whole schtick about what's sold there and what we need can't be found there, Grant politely thanked her for her time and we left the store.
We weren't even 2 feet away from the front door when we burst into laughter. We got back into the car and took Glen Cove Road north and found another liquor store...not sure if it was in Glen Head or Glen Cove but we walk in and find a man that was somewhere between 70 & death and Grant asked him if Night Train Express was sold there. "But of course" the man replied and walked us over to the fridge for Grant to help himself.
Grant bought his Night Train, I bought some other stuff and we took our happy asses back to Post.
Almost 16 years after that incident and I still have not tried Night Train.
|
|
$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
|
Post by $heriff Tom on Jun 27, 2008 11:26:12 GMT -5
LOL @ "ripple."
So we had to take an online "Code of Conduct" training here at work. Required. It was as bland as to be expected. Anyway, I asked a couple of people here what they thought of it, it was narrarated by this droning guy. So a few people said, "I watched it on mute."
So, thinking quick, I was like, "whoa...so you missed the guys impersonation?" And they were like, "i guess, what was it?"
So I went into this schpiel about this boring guy doing the training course breaking into stereotypical Chinese goofy voice, as an example of the kind of thing NOT TO DO at work. And these idiots believed me.
To the point that at least 2 people re-registered and sat through the course for a second time, just to hear this impersonation.
Of course, the narrarator, in the section mentioning how you should not engage in offense jokery did NOT do a phony Chinaman voice.
Idiots.
|
|
|
Post by crazilyz on Jun 27, 2008 11:44:38 GMT -5
I told a co-worker the story, and he asked "do they even sell Night Train anymore?" I said "yep. At the liquor store on the corner of Sunrise & Straight path, right by Big Lots. You'll find it on the bottom shelf next to the Wild Irish Rose."
|
|
|
Post by elliejay21 on Jun 29, 2008 14:44:34 GMT -5
I'd probably have a hard time finiding those varietals at the liquor stores in my village, but there has to be someplace on 109 where I could find Ripple, Boones Farm, Cisco or the ever popular Mad Dog. I was always particularly fond of the toxic green colored Kiwi-lemon Mad dog!!!
|
|
|
Post by Ms. Jericho on Jun 29, 2008 17:24:30 GMT -5
Am I completely naive for not knowing what any of those are?
|
|