Post by elliejay21 on Mar 26, 2007 17:53:41 GMT -5
old, but still funny... REAL laws from different states...
Alabama
*Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
Arizona
*You may not have more than two dildos in a house. would that be 2 dildos per person? or total?
Arkansas
*Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
*Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
California
*Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. and they're supposed to know this.....how??
*Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
*No person may show his or her buttocks on a playground.
*It is illegal to molest butterflies
*Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
Colorado
*Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
*It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Connecticut
*It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. but can he kiss his girlfriend?
Delaware
*Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment. there really is NOTHING better to do in deleware, is there?
Florida
*One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
*A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
*Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. not to mention PAINFUL!!
*When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
*Oral sex is illegal.
*You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
*It is illegal to molest a Key deer.
*The molestation of trash cans is banned. was there a big problem w/ people doing this?!?!?!
*Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".
*Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron. umm doesn't that negate the entire purpose???
Georgia
*The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
*All sex toys are banned.
*Erotic dancing is prohibited on Sundays.
*The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured.
Idaho
*Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds guess this would explain all the overweight women in idaho.....
Illinois
*One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
*It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
*It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
Indiana
*It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
*Oral sex is illegal.
*A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
*Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Iowa
*A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
*Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
Kentucky
*One may not receive anal sex.
Maryland
*Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.
Massachusetts
*A woman can not be on top in sexual activities
*Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
Michigan
*Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
*No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison
*There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
*Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Minnesota
*Oral sex is prohibited
Mississippi
*A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her
*Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
*Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate,
results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
*It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
Missouri
*It is illegal to have oral sex.
Montana
*Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family".
*It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
Nevada
*Sex toys are outlawed.
New Jersey
*No one may annoy someone of the opposite sex.
New Mexico
*It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
New York
*Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
*It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing. (I think every Peurto Rican and Dominican woman in NY is breaking this law daily...)
*New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
*A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.
*It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
*It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior.
North Carolina
*While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
*If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
*All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
*It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
*Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.
*A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.
*Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
Ohio
*Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
*No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.
*Anal intercourse is banned.
*Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
*It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Oklahoma
*It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
*Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punisable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
*Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
*It's statutory rape for a man over 18 to have sex with a female under the age of 18, provided she's a virgin.
*It is illegal to have sex before you are married.
*Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
Oregon
*An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement.
*It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
*No one may attempt to cause someone to think that their property may be subjected to "offensive physical contact".
*It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits.
Pennsylvania
*It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel.
Rhode Island
*Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
*It is illegal to wear transparent clothing
South Carolina
*By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
*It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.
*It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
*Sexually oriented businesses may not open for business on Sundays.
Tennessee
*More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
*Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
*Interracial marriages are illegal.
Texas
*Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
*Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
*It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
*It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
Utah
*A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
*No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
*It is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance and if you are caught the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
Virginia
*Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary
*If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
*You may not have oral or anal sex.
*It is illegal to tickle women.
*A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
*Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
*It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm.
Washington
*It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.
*You are not allowed to breastfeed in public.
*Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term
West Virginia
*Unmarried couple who live together and "lewdly associate" with one another may face up to a year in prison.
*Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.
*It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
*It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.
Wisconsin
*Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist's counter
*The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.
*It is illegal to kiss on a train.
*No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
*Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.
Alabama
*Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
Arizona
*You may not have more than two dildos in a house. would that be 2 dildos per person? or total?
Arkansas
*Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
*Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
California
*Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. and they're supposed to know this.....how??
*Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
*No person may show his or her buttocks on a playground.
*It is illegal to molest butterflies
*Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
Colorado
*Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
*It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Connecticut
*It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. but can he kiss his girlfriend?
Delaware
*Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment. there really is NOTHING better to do in deleware, is there?
Florida
*One may not commit any "unnatural acts" with another person.
*A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
*Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. not to mention PAINFUL!!
*When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
*Oral sex is illegal.
*You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
*It is illegal to molest a Key deer.
*The molestation of trash cans is banned. was there a big problem w/ people doing this?!?!?!
*Women may not expose their breasts while performing "topless dancing".
*Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron. umm doesn't that negate the entire purpose???
Georgia
*The term "sadomasochistic abuse" is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.
*All sex toys are banned.
*Erotic dancing is prohibited on Sundays.
*The flooring of adult bookstores and video stores must be nonabsorbant and smooth textured.
Idaho
*Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds guess this would explain all the overweight women in idaho.....
Illinois
*One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.
*It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.
*It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog.
Indiana
*It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
*Oral sex is illegal.
*A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
*Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.
Iowa
*A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
*Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
Kentucky
*One may not receive anal sex.
Maryland
*Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.
Massachusetts
*A woman can not be on top in sexual activities
*Two people may not kiss in front of a church.
Michigan
*Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
*No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison
*There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
*Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Minnesota
*Oral sex is prohibited
Mississippi
*A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her
*Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
*Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate,
results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.
*It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
Missouri
*It is illegal to have oral sex.
Montana
*Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family".
*It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
Nevada
*Sex toys are outlawed.
New Jersey
*No one may annoy someone of the opposite sex.
New Mexico
*It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
New York
*Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
*It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing. (I think every Peurto Rican and Dominican woman in NY is breaking this law daily...)
*New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
*A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk.
*It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
*It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior.
North Carolina
*While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
*If a man and a woman who aren't married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
*All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
*It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
*Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.
*A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.
*Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.
Ohio
*Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
*No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.
*Anal intercourse is banned.
*Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
*It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Oklahoma
*It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
*Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punisable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
*Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
*It's statutory rape for a man over 18 to have sex with a female under the age of 18, provided she's a virgin.
*It is illegal to have sex before you are married.
*Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
Oregon
*An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement.
*It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
*No one may attempt to cause someone to think that their property may be subjected to "offensive physical contact".
*It is against the law for animals to have sex in the city limits.
Pennsylvania
*It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel.
Rhode Island
*Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
*It is illegal to wear transparent clothing
South Carolina
*By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.
*It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.
*It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
*Sexually oriented businesses may not open for business on Sundays.
Tennessee
*More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
*Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
*Interracial marriages are illegal.
Texas
*Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
*Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
*It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
*It is illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands.
Utah
*A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
*No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
*It is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance and if you are caught the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
Virginia
*Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary
*If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
*You may not have oral or anal sex.
*It is illegal to tickle women.
*A man may face 60 days in jail for patting a woman's derriere.
*Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
*It is legal for a man to beat his wife on the courthouse steps so long as it is before 8:00 pm.
Washington
*It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.
*You are not allowed to breastfeed in public.
*Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term
West Virginia
*Unmarried couple who live together and "lewdly associate" with one another may face up to a year in prison.
*Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.
*It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
*It is legal to beat your wife so long as it is done in public on Sunday, on the courthouse steps.
Wisconsin
*Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist's counter
*The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.
*It is illegal to kiss on a train.
*No male is allowed to be in a state of arousal in public.
*Women may not walk down a public street at night without being accompanied by a man.