$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
Oct 19, 2007 7:35:10 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on Oct 19, 2007 7:35:10 GMT -5
How many ears does Davey Crockett have?
A - Three. His right ear, his left ear, and the wild front-ear
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Jokes
Dec 4, 2007 17:47:17 GMT -5
Post by Chris on Dec 4, 2007 17:47:17 GMT -5
I was sittin' in a bar when this clown walks in and says, "Bartender, give me a treefort."
Bartender says, "What's in a treefort?"
Clown says, "Playboy books and cigars."
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Jokes
Dec 4, 2007 21:40:32 GMT -5
Post by massyanksfan on Dec 4, 2007 21:40:32 GMT -5
A old man is sitting at a bar, stone durnk. He leans over to the young guy next to him and says "I grabbed your mom's tits" The kid ignores him. A few drinks later he leans over to the kid and says " I ate your mom's box". Again, the kid ignores him. A few more drinks later the ola man leans back over and says "I fucked yiur mom in the ass!" The kid gets up and says, OK Dad, it's time to go home.
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$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
Dec 10, 2007 11:58:47 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on Dec 10, 2007 11:58:47 GMT -5
Here's an oldie but goodie.
MAN (walking up on a guy holding a dog on a leash) "does your dog bite?" GUY HOLDING LEASH - "no."
MAN REACHES TO PET DOG, IS BIT
MAN (angrily) "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" MAN WITH LEASH - "thats not my dog."
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Jokes
Dec 10, 2007 12:05:26 GMT -5
Post by kingdzbws on Dec 10, 2007 12:05:26 GMT -5
That's an Inspector Clouseau joke.
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Jokes
Dec 20, 2007 23:00:05 GMT -5
Post by Chris on Dec 20, 2007 23:00:05 GMT -5
How do you get ToneFiveOneSix off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
Apr 16, 2008 9:27:02 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on Apr 16, 2008 9:27:02 GMT -5
So I came up with a Jim Dandy this morning. Even better it was during a weekly sales meeting, in front of about 75 people crammed into a small conference room.
They were joking about opening up an outpost office in Alaska. While people ruminated about sled-dogs and stuff like that, I thought up a doozy, and considering it was an audience of salespeople, I opined....
"Well, you'd surely be doing a lot of COLD calls."
Yes, I went there.
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Jokes
May 18, 2008 11:40:39 GMT -5
Post by baldvinny on May 18, 2008 11:40:39 GMT -5
heard this from a cop yesterday at the stadium:
What's the difference between Sean Bell and an Irishman?
the irishman will get up and walk away after 50 shots
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Jokes
May 18, 2008 15:02:28 GMT -5
Post by 9 on May 18, 2008 15:02:28 GMT -5
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
May 18, 2008 15:36:41 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on May 18, 2008 15:36:41 GMT -5
Not to piss on the parade, but the cops should leave the joking over the incident to others.
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Jokes
May 18, 2008 18:11:25 GMT -5
Post by Ms. Jericho on May 18, 2008 18:11:25 GMT -5
I agree. Not cool.
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Jokes
May 19, 2008 10:31:25 GMT -5
Post by Chris on May 19, 2008 10:31:25 GMT -5
Just reinforces my theory.
Most cops were born cops; predisposed to be assholes.
My cousin is a Sufflok County Police Officer - perfect example of what I'm talking about.
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$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
Jul 29, 2008 10:17:15 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on Jul 29, 2008 10:17:15 GMT -5
Get ready, this is a bad one.
On CBS-FM they just played "While my guitar gently weeps." So afterwards the DJ cracks, "you know why the guitar weeps so much? Cause of its frets."
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$heriff Tom
Administrator
Groom ba ya ya ya
Posts: 16,173
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Jokes
Oct 30, 2009 10:49:42 GMT -5
Post by $heriff Tom on Oct 30, 2009 10:49:42 GMT -5
Why couldnt Mr Ghost get Mrs. Ghost pregnant?
A - he had a Hollow Weenie
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Jokes
Jan 15, 2010 12:51:27 GMT -5
Post by Chris on Jan 15, 2010 12:51:27 GMT -5
1. Go to www.maps.google.com 2. Search for this address below. 240 N Cedar St, Hazleton, Luzerne, Pennsylvania 18201 3. When you get to the address click on the satellite view. 4. Zoom in on the football field.
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Jokes
Jan 15, 2010 14:15:02 GMT -5
Post by 9 on Jan 15, 2010 14:15:02 GMT -5
That prank definitely took some time!
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